Someone motivated for reviewing my cover letter ?

[murielj]

It seems this part of the forum miss some topics. So I found one !

I try to participate to an internship program offered by the National gallery of Art in Washington. Here is my cover letter (approximately 500 word)
All your comments, espacially on the syntax and vocabulary matters, are welcome.
In english of course !

Dear Sir or Madam,

I apply for the summer internship program offered by the National Gallery of Art because having the opportunity to participate would be a great complement to my education. I finished my studies just a few months ago, in september, but I'm still trying to form as a competent museum professional.
I began my university by studying Law and History of Art. I chose this specific program to have at the same time a theorical training that joined my interest for art, and also a knowledge of how the society works, and more precisely the cultural politics and institutions. I think this dual education gave me a more structured and open mind than if I had run only one of these two majors.
Besides this theorical background I wanted to follow more applied courses. Thanks to an interuniversitary exchange, I spent one year in Montreal in a M.A. in museology. There, I had a training in close link with museums professional, that I appreciated. In the same idea of pursuing a museum career, I spent two months working for the International Council of African Museums. Back in France, my aim was to finish my studies with a complementary angle of view on museums and cultural sites. So I got a Master's Degree in Cultural Tourism.
I'm now working for the museums association of Quebec. It gives me the chance to improve my knowledge of museum environnement. But I miss an effective experience inside a museum. And the summer internship program of the National Gallery of Art could give me this opportunity.
If I ask to be an intern in the curatorial of Northern Renaissance Paintings Department, it's because Art, and notably this area and this period, is the one that gave me the liking of museums and that pointed my education. Added to my motivation, I know Renaissance paintings, in the northern Europe as in Italy. I also think that my french could be a valued skill to make researches on this matter. My second choice – being part of the library staff –, as well as my first one, is the result of my interest for European art. My rigor in work, my cognizance in computers, my liking for art are as much reasons for wich I’m convinced I would be an effective intern.
If I had the chance to participate to the National Gallery of Art summer internship program, it would certainly be a personal improvement, but will mostly complete my training by giving me the know-how and experience that I miss to begin my museum career. Back in France, I plan to prepare the exam for becoming a curator. And on the long range I’d like to take part in the management of a museum or an historical site. In my view that includes exhibitions organization, and planning out of development and communication strategies to attract the public and give it the taste of heritage and art.

So I hope you will consider my application favourably and give me the chance to participate to this program.

Sincerely,

[fiftywan]

Great idea that you had.

And you seem to have a very unusual and interesting career path. So... here goes:

I apply for the summer internship program offered by the National Gallery of Art because having the opportunity to participate would be a great complement to my education.

I'd say "I am applying" or "I've decided to apply", and I have heard "addition" rather than "complement".

I finished my studies just a few months ago, in september, but I'm still trying to form as a competent museum professional.

I graduated from *insert your type of studies here* in September 2007,

what do you mean about "but I am stil trying to form as a competent museum professional"? Do you mean that you are looking for a good first hands-on experience?

I began my university by studying Law and History of Art.

I majored in Law and History of Art.

I chose this specific program to have at the same time a theorical training that joined my interest for art, and also a knowledge of...

I chose this specific program to have at the same time a theoretical training matching my interest for art, as well as knowledge of...

There, I had a training in close link with museums professional,

There, I had a training closely linked with museum professionals,

In the same idea of

Still thinking about

angle of view on

approach of

But I miss an effective experience inside a museum.

But I am still missing an effective experience inside a museum.

it's because Art, and notably this area and this period, is the one that gave me the liking of museums and that pointed my education.

it's because Art, and especially this area and time, gave me the interest in museums and motivated my current education.

in the northern Europe as in Italy.

in Northern Europe as well as in Italy.

a valued skill to make researches on this matter.

a valuable skill to do research on this subject.

My rigor in work, my cognizance in computers, my liking for art are as much reasons for wich...

My hardworking, my knowledge in computers and my interest in art are as many reasons for which ...

Back in France, I plan to prepare the exam for becoming a curator.

Back in France, I plan to prepare the exam to become a curator.

In my view that includes...

In my opinion, this includes...



Here you go. All in all, I like your project, and hope that you'll manage to do it

Take what you want from my comments, I don't have absolute knowledge anyway, and may be wrong, sometimes

[murielj]

Yes you are... No, I'm joking.

what do you mean about "but I am stil trying to form as a competent museum professional"? Do you mean that you are looking for a good first hands-on experience?

Actually, this internship program is for current students or rencent graduate. I'm in the second class. And one of the criteria for chosing the intern is that the internship must be a real value to their education and training and must help them to begin their museum career. Si I desperately try to show how I'm not yet a real professional, and I'm still like a student. Do You understand ?

I have heard "addition" rather than "complement".

In that context, I'm not sure it would be better. I try to bring the idea of complete, in the meaning of bringing it to a whole. Without this internship, my training wouldn't be all-accomplished.

I majored in Law and History of Art.

Here I think I'll put "I first majored in Law and History of Art". Because I want this idea of progression in the time.

it's because Art, and especially this area and time, gave me the interest in museums and motivated my current education.

I can't put "current". Because I'm not a student anymore. What I mean it's that I chose my studies motivated by these personnal interests. In french I would have said "et qui m'ont poussée à choisir cette voie" or "qui m'ont décidée à faire les études que j'ai faites" or something like that.

For the other corrections, I agree with you and I will change that right now ! Thanks !

[imhotep]

I have heard "addition" rather than "complement".

keyword: enhancement. Example: Would greatly enhance my skills set.
Addition: is a PLUS
Complement: is something that would be good but not really necessary.

In addition (la ca s'emploie bien ) to the review above ta lettre de couverture est very bien

[murielj]

keyword: enhancement. Example: Would greatly enhance my skills set.
Addition: is a PLUS
Complement: is something that would be good but not really necessary.

In addition (la ca s'emploie bien ) to the review above ta lettre de couverture est very bien

I'm not sure I understood what you mean.
So, should I use "a great complement to my education", or "a great addition to my education" or something else like "would greatly enhance my skills set" ?

[imhotep]

Last option if you're willing to say that you don't want to miss this opportunity as it would make you a "competent museum professional.".
You could use "addition" as well. I just think that "enhancement" is stronger. It is just a matter of opinion.
I wouldn't use "complement" for the reason I stated above. It doesn't really have the same meaning in French I guess. Think of complement as a cherry on a pie. Meaning, it would be good to have it but it would not be really necessary.
Now, don't hurt yourself about this too long. Those are just words and any of them works.

[murielj]

Ok, I think i will do as you say. I'm not convinced by "addition", and I don't want that it seems like a cherry on a pie. It should seem that it's a necessity : If I don't do this internship, I won't be competent !

Just to explain : I don't really think this application will work (and I don't really want to be a curator, even if it could be pleasant). It's such a big thing. Imagine : three months of paid internship in washington, in one of the biggest museums in the world, and they help you to obtain the necessary visa ! I think I'm not the only one to apply. But if I don't take my chance, i will regret it. And I'm also applying for quite the same program but at the Metropolitan museum of NY...
If one of these two works, it will be the big party !!!

[fiftywan]

about "but I'm still trying to form as a competent museum professional" <-- in that case, why not "but I need a good practical experience to become a competent museum professional"? Don't take it personnally, but something bothered me with that sentence. I couldn't really explain, it's mostly gut feeling. I've tried to find another way of saying things that would match your idea of progression. Not sure it matches what you want to say, though

about complement: https://wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=complement <-- one of the definitions fit what you mean, so I'm good with that

about "I first majored..." <-- makes sense

about "current" <-- "current" could be interpreted as "the one you're doing right now (as in "pending"), and the latest status so far (as in "up until now"). I didn't think about the double meaning. It's probably better to remove it, then, you're right ^^.

Oh, and of course there will be other applicants. But they have to pick someone, and... you never know until you try . The Met? wow. Please do get the internship, and send free invites to those people who helped you with the cover letter

[murielj]

I don't take it personnaly, don't worry. I posted my letter here to have your comments so...And I'm not really satisfied too by my sentence about becoming a competent museum professional. I will think about your idea.

For "complement", maybe I will put it back. I also have to think about it.

And yes "wow". I'm not applying for little insignificant museums. I really think it would be a very great experience if I were chosen. So I try, and wait and see !

[Toradan]

But I miss an effective experience inside a museum. And the summer internship program of the National Gallery of Art could give me this opportunity.

The sentence is actually quite right, but I would have rather said:
But I miss an effective experience inside a museum. And the summer internship program of the National Gallery of Art would give me this opportunity.

The difference is not enormous, but the first one is kind of saying that the internship program "might" be an opportunity to give you hands-on experience... And from what I understood, you want to say that this is the opportunity you need ^^

The actual sentence would be analog to the french conditionnal tense, the one I suggest to the future... Both are right, but the second one makes you more decided and convinced in my opinion

The rest of the letter is pretty good, and I agree with all of the suggestions of Fiftywan
Good luck with the internship program, very nice museum you're applying at

[yukon]

Here's my humble try:

To the selection panel:

Having heard about your Summer Internship Program at the National Gallery of Art and considering my field of studies I would like to submit my letter of intention.

In September of ……, I completed my studies in Law and Art History so that I would be able to combine theoretical education touching upon both my interest for art as well as to better comprehend how Society in general works and more specifically in the area of cultural politics and institutions. Having the opportunity to take part in your internship would allow me to gain experience which would help me become a more highly qualified museum administrator.

My years of study also allowe me, through an inter-university exchange program, to spend one year in Montreal in a M.A. in museology. There, I had the opportunity to train alongside museums professionals. In the same course of pursuing a career in museum management, I spent two months working for the International Council of African Museums.

Upon my return to France, my aim was to finish my studies with a complementary angle of view on museums and cultural sites. To this end, I got a Master's Degree in Cultural Tourism.


I am presently working for the Museum Association of Quebec. This gives me the chance to improve my knowledge of the museum environment. However satisfying, this position does not allow me to attain an effective work experience in a museum environment. Your Summer Internship Program with the National Gallery of Art would certainly give me this opportunity.

The reason I ask to be considered as an intern in the curatorial of Northern Renaissance Paintings Department is because Art, and notably this area and this period, is the one that awakened me to the wonderful world of museums which in turn steered me in my educational choices. Added to my motivation, I have considerable knowledge of Renaissance paintings in the Northern Europe as well as in Italy. I also think that my French language skills could be an added value to the research project.

My second choice of being part of the library staff, as well as my first one, is the result of my interest for European art. My strong work ethics, my computer skills and my love for art are the main reasons for which I am convinced that I could be an effective intern.

If I had the opportunity to participate to the National Gallery of Art Summer Internship Program, it would certainly complete my training by giving me the know-how and experience that I presently lack in order to begin my museum career.

When I return to France, I plan to prepare for the exam to become a curator. In the long range, I’d like to take part in the management of a museum or an historical site. In my view that includes exhibitions organization, and planning out of development and communication strategies to attract the public and give it the taste of heritage and art.

In this sense, I truly hope you will consider my application favourably and give me the opportunity to take part in this program.

Best regards,

[yukon]

Best of luck Muriel, let us know how it works out for you!
Yvette